What does it mean to be tough?
Terry Crews grew up in a less than ideal childhood and embraced American Football and an acting career subsequently as he grew up. He recounted his life and how he eventually came to term with what it means to be powerful. He related his difficult upbringing with drunken father and cruel mother, his brush with the cult of Christ and how he was involved with both the Me Too and Black Lives Matter movements, the two sensitive topics (sexual assault and race) that he felt strongly about. All these facets of his life highlight the significance of power dynamics and how easy it is to abuse that power in a superior position.
What are some of the lessons we can learn from Terry?
- Take control of your narrative: It’s easy to let the world influence you. We can’t control the environment, but we can control our responses to those stimuli. People will say nasty things or act in the way we don’t want. We can hold true to our values and not be triggered by those outside stimuli
- Value of a supportive partners: His wife helped him to get through a lot of issue. We all need a group of people who believe in us and push us forward
- Use of power: We should learn to use power to protect, not to intimidate and benefit from. Terry was able to use his fame to give voice to the Me Too movement.
- Know your trigger point: We likely all suffer some sort of trauma that drive our current insecurity. Being able to dig deep and figure that issue can help us to deal with some of the symptoms (addiction, depression, irritation) that stem from those unseen wounds inside of us. For Terry, he carried with him the sense of powerlessness inflicted on his by his upbringing. This got him to use his strength to try to overcome that to no avail. It’s only after he realized why he’s angry all the time that he’s able to come to term with his anger and addiction issue.
Recommended for those interested in: Good memoir, Self-discovery, Perspective on controversial topic (race, sexual assault), Anger management
My thought: He would be the first to admit that he did not deal with many of the issues, including the powerlessness that drove his anger and rage, well but has the self-awareness to grow into a better person. It’s a powerful book that examines how we can all